Parenting is not easy and It sure is full of ups and downs. Teaching kids to process their emotions is very important for their mental and emotional growth and must be focused on parenting. One of the simplest yet impactful techniques is the “Rose-Bud-Thorn” check-in.
This approach or parenting tool is more than just a reflective exercise; it is a way for parents and children to connect, understand feelings, and build resilience together.
What Is The Rose-Bud-Thorn Check-In All About?
The “Rose-Bud-Thorn” check-in is a mindfulness exercise. By encouraging positive reflection in the children, especially in times of crisis, this technique helps kids cope up in the time of crisis. Here is how it works:
Rose: The “Rose” technique is used for representing the positivity in life, whether big or small. Questions like “What was something good that happened today?” can be asked to their children to bring in this approach in day-to-day life.
This way they will develop a habit of always remembering the good parts in a day. It could be as small as having fun with friends at a lunch break, or as big as getting straight As in a test.
Bud: The “Bud” symbolises that there is something to look forward to in life or something that has a scope to improve. This is an approach that can foster hope in your kid’s life. Parents, you can here ask your kids, “What is something you are excited about or hope will grow?” This can also include an upcoming weekend plan or learning a new skill.
Thorn: This is the challenging portion of their life. It could be a difficult or stressful part of the day and parents can ask their children, “What didn’t go well?” or “What was hard today?” This could be a conflict with a friend, a difficult home assignment or some feelings of disappointment. This will teach your kids the way to deal with difficult emotions.
But these exercises are not just for big or special moments but must be made part of daily life to create a safe space for children.
Building Resilience When Things Go South
When your kids are facing a difficult situation, or having a rough day, this is when this tool or parenting approach can come as handy.
For example, if a child’s “thorn” is a poor performance in sports, acknowledging the challenge will help them understand that it is okay to feel upset. You can also ask your child the question, “How can we turn this thorn into a bud and then into a rose?”
This approach will help the child to turn the setbacks into opportunities to improve and do better.
How Does It Strengthen Parent-Child Bond?
By checking in regularly, you are teaching your child to recognise their achievements (roses), foster hopes (buds), and overcome as well as confront their challenges (thorns).
This conversation helps your child to build emotional vocabulary, enhance trust and also open doors for deeper communication. A child who feels heard and understood is more likely to open up about his or her struggles in the future.
How To Make This Technique Part Of Your Routine?
Try and have a chat about all these at dinner time, before bedtime, or on a drive from school back home. You can keep the questions simple and gentle to encourage a supportive environment. As you practice this, after a point, it will seem like a normal ritual and you child will open up to you more easily.
